i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
