The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
