Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When are your genitals available?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
