im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
