Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
