It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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