I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
