I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
they need to just BURY HIM!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
