i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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