I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
