Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
