I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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