bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
