Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
