i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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