ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
