Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
