you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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