ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
