Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
