it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
