He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
