i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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