whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
