Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
