4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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