His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
