Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
