I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
