as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
