no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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