Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
