So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Randomize
