So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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