i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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