I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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