You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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