Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
