we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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