As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
