I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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