I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
