I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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