Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
