would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
