Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You are a genius and a whore.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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