Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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