I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
