I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
