He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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