you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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