names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
