Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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