That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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